Passionless

I dragged Dan to see the movie Julie + Julia tonight. It was cute; maybe not worth seeing after matinee price, but definitely the kind of movie worth Netflixing and snuggling up on the couch with a glass of wine on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Movies like that both depress me and give me some hope. By all standards, I live a pretty great life. I live in a wonderfully bizarre city with the love of my life, have absolutely amazing and genuine friendships (just a short 5 hour drive south!), a college education with a decent paying job, and routine massage-pedicure-and-sushi Sundays. I like bars and bands, take continuing education classes in whatever strikes my fancy (so far I've taken a desktop publishing class and a wine tasting class through the University of Utah extension program), and have been to some of the most exotic places on earth with no intention of stopping anytime soon.

But I have yet to find a passion. Something I love, something I'm good at, something that defines me. It's somewhere, I know I have one. I, like the girl in the movie, quit almost everything I start (outside of work because, uh, I have bills to pay). It's not something I say lightly, and I probably wouldn't admit to that out loud.

I ran seriously for 10+ years, and even got some free education from it. But as soon as I graduated and there was no team, no coach, no 6 am practice or meets, I stopped. I haven't ran in years. (How I haven't become enormous is truly beyond me). I tried yoga. I even went to a cute yoga studio downtown and bought my own yoga mat. But then the snooty hippie girl fixed my stance one class and said something to the effect of "and now welcome to warrior two pose" which I took as snide instead of helpful, and have yet to be back. I wrote often and well when I was younger and won some awards and money along the way. But then life got in the way, and I haven't written in God knows how long (save this little space in cyberspace and I guess I write some press releases and articles at work, but nothing overly creative and inspiring).

It's difficult for me when someone asks me what my hobbies are. Isn't that insane? I always answer "traveling," which is true, but I obviously don't do it on a day-to-day basis, so I kind of think it's a cop out.

I don't mean to make this sound like I think I'm a bad or pathetic person. I'm just still searching. Unfortunately, no matter how well I do in my career(and I've always done well in my jobs; I'm never satisfied with mediocrity in the workplace, especially if my name is on it -- it being a project or task, etc.), I don't know that work will ever be a passion. I mean, it's work -- I don't want it to be my passion. I'm satisfied with my career, but I want to find something I like doing for me.

So, I'm going to pick yoga back up. Maybe it won't be a passion, but maybe it can be something I don't have to quit. I enjoyed it, it was healthy, and I already have the mat! By this weekend, I'll be a member of the studio again.

I'll update this to see how that went.

Summertime

We've been in Utah for just over a year now, and I can finally say I'm getting used to calling it home. In many ways, this year flew by; in some, it dragged.

Dan is done with the first year in his PhD program. I'm so proud of him -- he is rawly intellectual, but he is an incredibly hard worker as well. He has one more semester left of classes, and then he will concentrate completely on research in his lab. His actual PhD will be in Human Genetics, and he studies genes in fruit flies to better understand those in the human body. He has about five more years left in his program, so Utah will be home for awhile.

As for me, I continue to move forward as well. I finished my first year at the job I got when we moved here -- a job I really tried to love. Then, after I realized I would never love it, I tried to be content with it. While I never found contentment, I am proud to say that I conducted myself as a professional the entire year. To be honest, I knew after a couple of months that this was not a job for me. It was a pay raise from my pervious position in Las Vegas and with an extremely reputable organization in Utah. On paper, it looked fantastic, and as a young professional in this economy, not only would it have looked awful to leave a corporate job after a few months, it would have also been a huge gamble. Besides, I knew how lucky I was that I left Las Vegas with no job lined up in Utah and was able to get the very first one I applied for. So every day I went to work, did my job with 110% dedication, and continued to keep my eyes open for opportunities for professional development. For example, each time my work offered to pay for a conference, training session, or membership to a professional association, I took full advantage of it. By the end of my first year, besides my job title and description, I had a few more bullet points with ties to Utah to put on my resume.

I also kept my eyes open for job opportunities, and applied for a few periodically. I interviewed for two positions, and was offered both. I declined both for various reasons (one was with a company that could barely articulate the job duties and just seemed a little "off." The other was for my church. I would have LOVED to take the job, but a couple of reasons ultimately prevented me from doing so: it would have been a HUGE pay decrease and, more importantly, it would have been a huge professional step backwards. I was so ready to be done with my job, which is why I applied for it in the first place, but in the end decided to stick with it until something right came along -- which could have been never in this economy).

After just over a year in my job, an incredible opportunity came along: reputable company, well-rounded job duties, in my field. I interviewed (and interviewed and interviewed...) and was made an offer. Each interview felt like a better and better fit, and the icing on the cake: a tiny pay increase. The cake, of course, was not only the job itself, but also being able to leave my current position. I feel incredibly fortunate that I am able to continue climbing in my field in this economy. A lot of job web sites right now say things to the effect of "Hate your job? Shutup, at least you have one." I'm so happy I continued to look, and even happier that I waited for something that fits well for me. I start this week.

Aside from work, I also was accepted into Weber State's Master's of English program. It's amazing being back in school, even just one class at a time. I'm already taking a break due to the new job (the plan is to prove what a dedicated employee I am before I ask to leave an hour early once a week for class), but I do have plans to continue. And I'm happy to report I got an A in my very first master's class.

We also moved into a new apartment this summer; we LOVE it. It's beautiful, luxury and it used to be out of our price range. With the economy, however, it seems like everyone is dropping their prices. We locked into a year at an affordable price and love coming home to our beautiful place every day. I'll post some pictures when I've finished decorating.

We just got back from Washington, DC to visit my family; my mom is on active duty there (she is a Marine Corps reservist) for the summer. She teaches college-prep classes enlisted Marines who were selected to attend college to become officers before they head off to universities. My parents sold their house in Yuma, and both of them will be in the DC area by the end of summer; my dad is set to accept a job there, and my mom will continue to become active each summer, and probably teach high school during the school year as she does in Yuma.

That's the update so far. One year in Utah down, five more to go. So far we're taking full advantage of all that Utah has to offer; skiing, hiking, film festivals, etc. We're finally coming into a social life here, and we're excited that our friend Travis (who was transferred here from his job Las Vegas, coincidentally and very happily) is moving his girlfriend (who we also love to hang out with when she is in town) out here as well -- the boys are great to hang out with, but it will be nice to have a girlfriend here -- I'm so used to a close circle of girlfriends, it's been a little weird without any here.

TIme to get to bed, and get ready to finish my last couple days at work!

Oh, yeah. English.

I forgot to update: I was able to stay enrolled in my graduate English class. SO happy. Got an A, loved the class, and gearing up for summer term.

On select nights, when judgement has been impaired

Catch me doing big things in the SLC music scene...

Quote of the Day

I read this on the LA Times web site today and it made me laugh. In regards to LeAnn Rimes' alleged affair:

So, um, clearly this is a relationship underway. I mean, who sucks on a guy's fingers on a first date, right?

Unless it's after a few shots.

In college.

So I didn't buy the actual prints. Hence, the watermark.

Skiing in beautiful Utah.
I'm a recovering snowboarder. First time skiing and I'm totally addicted.

Best snow on earth...or so I'm told. Who knows, I've only lived in the desert before moving to Utah. But that's what it says on my license plate, so I'm sure it's totally true.

I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday morning.

For Tony

And, come visit anytime.